Here in my Life

"How do I know God is real? 

I am not the same old person I was before. 

Only a powerful Being could ever do such change in a person's life. Only the Creator can transform the human being He very created."

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            My life was totally different three years ago. It's very fascinating how a single opportunity could change your whole lifetime. How a simple acquaintance could change every single part of your life, your reality, and yourself.

            Before being invited by a friend to a Christian Church, my life was merely a rough quest for insatiable love and acceptance. Insecure for having an unchangeable flaw, unsatisfied for having an incomplete family, curious for things I shouldn't be curious about, and despaired from the countless rejections I had received. I've done crazy, stupid things I couldn't imagine now doing and I've basically turned into a person who's locked down in self-pity. And though that's the case, there was still this solitary faith in the depths of my soul, even before truly meeting Jesus Christ. I knew a person, a good version of me, deep inside awaiting to be revealed. I knew long before that I was made for a greater purpose. I knew there was hope for me.  I knew I can't stay forever in that dark world I locked myself into. So I've waited, and waited, until God finally came through.

I can't remember how it all started, but I just found myself miraculously in this church God has lead me to. I must confess that my mere intention for the first three months of going there was to see this person I really adored over the past few years. (It was a very special story, more like a miracle, of how I met this person; it convinces me that it was all God who made a way for me to know Him through him) In spite of the specialness of this encounter with him, our camaraderie has been awful and awkward. And to make the long story short, we haven't really became friends and absolutely not became more than that. But what I thought was the ending of my story, turned out to be the beginning of something bigger and better!

  With my fingers crossed, I just hoped for the best in the church God has placed me. And instead of leaving that church, because of my bitterness, God showed me that that's where I perfectly belonged! God has slowly drawn me closer to Himself in my weakness and brokenness from this Bridge He used to lead me to Christ. I found myself wanting to talk to Him more than ever, sharing my heartaches and butterflies all together. I was really messed up at that time, and out of my great desperation to move on from that guy, I learned to call on to God for help and healing, and He never failed me. God consistently pursued my heart and assured me that there's no one else who deserved my great love, except Him. He showed me the way to His heart that brought healing, happiness and peace on mine. It is true that He can really heal hearts, and  turn the bitter into sweet. And then, He planted the seed of salvation in my heart and I saw how beautifully He nurtured it to grow! Everything was falling into right places until I never knew I was gradually falling in love with Jesus Christ. Not long after, I saw Jesus winning my heart, taking the first place He rightly deserves and having to be my First love! That's when I realized that I had never felt so alive, satisfied and free in my life until I finally get to love God wholeheartedly!

And now, if you ask me how grateful I am to God?

There is no amount of words that could contain how much I regard God's presence in my life! I can never thank Him enough for all the things He's done for me. I can never even enumerate every single material blessings He's given me, but I absolutely thank God for my biological and spiritual family (Hosanna World Mission Church, Philippines: My home church) and especially my Jesus Risen Lord Alliance Fellowship Church family where I really grew spiritually matured, learned how to be a worshiper, and my other callings in life. Not to mention my awesome friends and colleagues who have been there for me all this time.

But above all, I am forever thankful to God that He loved me when I haven't really had the intention to love Him in the first place. He sought for me when I haven’t really sought after Him. He loved me on my weakness. He loved me over my insecurities and sins. He looked beyond all my present faults and past transgressions and gave me newness of life. He completely turned me into a better person I far off imagined I would be. I mean for sure I am absolutely not perfect, I still stumble so many times in my walk, but understanding God’s patience and faithfulness to me is more than enough to keep me going in this faith. And now, looking back, I neither imagine nor want my life in any other way than how it is like right now. For there is no amount of honor that could ever top the privilege of having been called a daughter of the Most High God, and to be a gift He delights in through what Christ has done for me (Ephesians 1:11). And those are the very reasons why I'm overwhelmingly grateful, that I came to understand this treasure of knowing God which is really far above anything in this world.

"And really, where would I be now without God here in my life? What if His grace did not find me on my weakness? What if He has chosen another daughter instead of me? What would've happened to me if He gave up on me when I'm all wrecked? How would my life look like if there's no presence of Him? How would I live my life if God never called me to Him? Would I still be this happy and satisfied? Would I love my life at all? What if none of the things I shared earlier ever happened?"

I want to share with you all the Bible verse that I live by, it is found in Isaiah 43:1-5. 

“But now, this is what the Lord says—he who created you, Jacob, he who formed you, Israel: “Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze. For I am the Lord your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior. I give Egypt for your ransom, Cush[a] and Seba in your stead. Since you are precious and honored in my sight, and because I love you, I will give people in exchange for you, nations in exchange for your life.” (Others died that you might live; I traded their lives for yours because you are precious to me and honored, and I love you. TLB)

I am called by the Living God for Himself. He welcomed me in a relationship with which I'm in the center of His affection. He called me to intimacy which envelopes the deep desires of my heart. He said that I am PRECIOUS to Him, I am HONORED and I am so LOVED by Him that's why He gave His only Son, Jesus Christ, to die for my sins. He exchanged His life for my sake! What kind of love is this! How can I not be moved by this grace? How can I ask for more?

Here in my life, I am extremely blessed by even having the opportunity to see God's goodness and glory, and to move His heart through my sweet surrender. I am a Beloved who is so captivated by the unfailing love of the Father. To have pleasure be written in my Savior's face is my existence's greatest purpose. All the glory is Yours forever! Glory to the Name of Jesus!

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What Breaks Your Heart?

What was the greatest thing that Jesus Christ had ever done in your life? What have He saved you from? 

Of course I know from SIN basically but I believe there was this inevitable God-shaped void in every man's heart that He got filled when we first met Jesus. It can be from depression, insecurity, heartache, inferiority, fear, doubt, shame, anxiety, lawlessness, homosexuality, discouragement, lust, greed, etc

Well to me, God perfectly came through my life in the midst of self-alienation; shove off all the lies about myself being never good enough,  took away the sense of insecurity about what others say about me, discarded my insatiable yearning for approval and belongingness, junked away all the sins that I thought I can never get away, and repaired a completely wrecked heart.

That was how God made me whole, reassembled my torn heart with the very bits of debris left.

So now, WHAT BREAKS YOUR HEART?

At this very moment, I regularly check the stuffs which trigger my lacrimal gland to function. What are the things that concern me the most? What are the things that take most of my time up? What are the things that I put my heart into? What do my thoughts and speech denote a lot? Are these Kingdom-related (as it should be) or flesh-related? Are they even of God or of my selfishness?

As the technology advances, the modern world is all the more becoming  illusive, unreasonable and senseless. Not only the world itself, most that is within it as well. Video games, social networking sites, television, gadgets, sports, celebrities, fictional 'things', and many other things. Oh, not to mention our concerns about numbers; size, weight, age and even likes on Facebook! (I'm not excluding myself from these things. I'm also guilty. But God's grace! Ah!)

Recently, our youth group had finished through the whole book, "Crazy Love" by Francis Chan. I remember one discussion night when we talked about the "Profiles of a Lukewarm". You tell about one of the most convicting nights we ever had, having a clear view of where we're at in our walks with God.

"We become lukewarm when we start to diffuse our focus on one of these three important personas; God, people and ourselves. We can focus on loving God but forget loving on people, vice versa. We can start to pray for ourselves (which is very vital on our walks) but neglect the people we need to pray about. And lastly, we can completely value ourselves and others better but take God out of the picture. Figuratively, Hate is not the antonym of Love, it is falling OUT of Love. When we fall out of love from one of those significant parts of the puzzle, it proposes a missing link that would most assuredly keep us at a distance to being the followers God wants us to be. We can not love God and hate on other people. We can not love others and bear grudges about and in yourself.  We can not love ourselves and deny our need of tender dependence to God's love. Wherever the balance is missing, there the lukewarmness is."

And there's NO other person rather than Jesus who knows our situations better. He knows our hearts. He knows our thoughts. He knows us very well. Nothing is hidden from Him. In MATTHEW 15:17-20, He excellently demonstrated His full wisdom regarding our very nature and composition, how He intricately knows us as we are even subjectively.

                  “Don’t you see that whatever enters the mouth goes into the stomach and then out of the body? But the things that come out of a person’s mouth come from the heart, and these defile them. For out of the heart come evil thoughts—murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false testimony, slander.  These are what defile a person; but eating with unwashed hands does not defile them.”

Jesus stated clearly that righteousness was never concluded by our action and show, instead it was elucidated by the very depths of our innermost motives. And in the most untimely situations, our human tendencies always lead us to bringing our focal points to ourselves. No matter how much we want to see Jesus be reflected in our lives, our sins, our flesh and it's desires are like mirrors surrounding us on every sides, bouncing rays of lights back to our eyes. Well, it's really a danger and a bit of discouragement. That is why there's no other way to look at but UP. Look up!

We see hope as we look up, we see deliverance coming through if we set our eyes to Jesus, seeking after His light and expectantly waiting for His rescue. If we open ourselves to vulnerability and humility, we can see Christ reaching out our every cries for grace. We can see the Holy Spirit coming down from heaven, anointing our very hearts through conviction and genuine repentance. And we see this in the later part of that chapter about the faith of the Canaanite  woman whose heart was breaking because of her demon-possessed daughter. (Matthew 15:21-28)

Unfortunately, it's so easy for us to look at ourselves and to the waves. It's so easy for us to give in to our selfishness  and forget what we're called for. We look at ourselves and still overemphasize our imperfections, neglecting the fact that God had made us perfect in His sight (Ephesians 1:4). We gave the world the power to make and break us by letting it define us, conforming to it's filthy desires, and making it our heaven. We submit our hearts easily to it's own course and leave us bearing endless, burdensome longing and discontent, trying to fill in our hearts with a loophole that only God can suffice.

Sometimes, we think of ourselves as the most miserable, most hopeless people in the world. Our troubles are as shallow as our ungratefulness to the abundance that had been made available to us. Our only concern doesn't go beyond ourselves, it's always about us; how ugly we are (when in fact, there are countless physically disabled and mentally challenged people who are just thankful they're alive), how fat we are (when in fact, most of the countries in the entire world are dying because of starvation, poverty and hoarding), how uncool we are for not having those cool earthly stuffs (when in fact, only a few out of hundreds are able to go to college because they got no chance to even taste a decent meal for a day), how broke we are for not being able to buy what we want (when in fact, many people can't even afford  their daily needs), how lonely we are because no one seems to like us and pursue us (when in fact, there are numerous homeless, orphans, widows that we see outside of our backyard).

We exhaust ourselves to these petty demands that we are not actually scarce of! "We are loaded with too many good things, more than we could ever need, while others are desperate for a small loaf." As Francis Chan would describe.  Instead of channeling these desires away from ourselves, we continue on rolling our eyes as if we don't see a need in front of us. And ironically, those of us who have plenty are the stingiest givers!

Well again, I'm not excluding myself from this convictions. I, too, am so guilty of this. And I can't imagine how I can care less for these people, not to mention those who are on my reach, and continue on living in this weakling, defeated, discontent Spirit. In a miserable state of mind as if God is deaf to not hear our desires and weak to not mend our hearts. This is not I'm called for, neither you are. 

“This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down His life for us. And we ought to LAY OUR LIVES FOR OUR BROTHERS.  If anyone has material possessions and sees his brother in need but has no pity on Him, HOW CAN THE LOVE OF GOD BE IN HIM?  Dear children, LET US NOT LOVE WITH WORDS OR TONGUE BUT WITH ACTIONS AND IN TRUTH. This is how we know that we belong to the truth and how we set our hearts at rest in his presence," ~1 John 3:16-19

We ought to get our ungrateful, trivial selves off our own pedestal and start to live the way that pleases God. We ought to stop appealing complete satisfaction outside from Christ. We ought to purify our hearts from it's superficiality and really let God preserve it away from our own care because 'the human heart is the most deceitful of all things, and desperately wicked. Who really knows how bad it is?" (Jeremiah 17:9)

There's only ONE who knows how bad it is. "If our hearts condemn us, we know that God is greater than our hearts, and he knows everything." (1 John 3:20)

God is greater than our hearts, we can be sure that He can heal our fleshly natures if only we believe He will do so and trust that He will not fail in the process. He knows our every motives and that is what He's looking at (1 Samuel 16:7). Not that God wants us to suffer by heartbreaking, but instead what breaks our hearts must be what breaks His: Famine, war, human exploitation, injustice, death, addiction, crime, scarcity of love, unrepentance, lost souls to name some of the many. At least care about these things, we will all the more becoming like Christ, all the more being a delight to God, all the more living as children He saved for. He already did the salvation for our part, we don't need to save ourselves again and again, but through us salvation will come to others homes. 

           "Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death. See what this godly sorrow has produced in you: what earnestness, what eagerness to clear yourselves, what indignation, what alarm, what longing, what concern, what readiness to see justice done. At every point you have proved yourselves to be innocent in this matter." ~2 Corinthians 7:10-11 

Instead of self-pity, Godly sorrow is important to stir up passion for other people that leads to submitting to the Greatest Commandments. Out of God's outpouring love, we respond in loving Him and loving others as we love ourselves (Mark 12:30-31). It will make a lot more difference if we treat each and every people and encounters as Jesus Christ. How would we care for them if look at them as if they were God.

“I was hungry and you gave me nothing to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me nothing to drink, I was a stranger and you did not invite me in, I needed clothes and you did not clothe me, I was sick and in prison and you did not look after me. The King will reply, ‘I tell you the truth, WHATEVER YOU DID FOR ONE OF THE LEAST OF THESE BROTHERS OF MINE, YOU DID FOR ME” (Matthew 25:42-43;45)

How Blessed I Am

Insecure, jealous, lonely, burnt out, lost,  desperate, uncertain, inadequate, empty, left behind, in-denial, sinful,  ungrateful,   insatiable,  miserable,   hopeless 

             Three sweet years ago, I was the kind of person nobody would like. I used to live in the dark world of compromise and self-fulfillment. Compliment, favor, flattery and praise were all my self-worth. I was always the most attention-seeking, people-pleasing, acceptance-pursuing damsel behind somebody's shadow. I guess, I was the most bitter, ungrateful, hardest and unhappiest person at that time; not because of what I have and don't have and what I went through or not, but simply because I drowned myself in gigantic despair.

           Now, I am here facing my computer with an offensive smile, laughing at the thoughts of my past life. If I would have a mirror in front of me with a now-and-before reflection, I would have a painful bruise from a slap of my previous self's vexation because of the grin of embarrassment in the look of my face. Like a very sarcastic, "Girl, what have you put yourself through? What a waste of excessive bitterness over your own insecurities!" I would be outrageously mad, back then.

           Well, that's the story of my petty, messy, heavy-laden old self.

And now, looking back...

          O' how I love looking back at my past! It always brings me back to the place of gratefulness and humility; understanding how I need God in my life and how I don't want to go back in that same position, old version of me. "Remember that in those days you were living utterly apart from Christ; you were enemies of God's children, and He had promised you no help. YOU WERE LOST, WITHOUT GOD, WITHOUT HOPE." ~Ephesians 2:23

           Finding myself on that first time I fell at Jesus' feet, time and again, is such a very humbling and vital experience that any of us should never neglect. It's good to always come back to that epic day when our lives have drastically changed by His amazing grace, that way we will never miss out of the ever-changing freshness of this sweet revelation of God's goodness in our lives. And God has done enormously of the most precious things in my life that I will never forget!

     "Praise the Lord , my soul; all my inmost being, praise his holy name. Praise the Lord , my soul, and forget not all his benefits— who forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases, who redeems your life from the pit and crowns you with love and compassion, who satisfies your desires with good things so that your youth is renewed like the eagle's." ~Psalm 103:1-5

            Acknowledging His unconditional love and tender mercies always blow my head off. Who am I? What am I? What did I do and not do? Why did He love me when I'm most unlovable? Why is He so kind and faithful and gracious and loving and, and ...?" These are some of my curious questions. And God answered me little by little.

"But God is so rich in mercy; HE LOVED US SO MUCH that even though we were spiritually dead and doomed by our sins, He gave us back our lives again when He raised Christ from the dead---only by His undeserved favor have we ever been saved---and lifted us from the grave into glory along with Christ, where He sit with Him in the heavenly realms---all because of what Christ Jesus did." ~Ephesians 2:4

            It's NEVER because of who we are, but it's because of everything He is. It's NEVER because of what we have done, but it's because of what Christ had done. It's NEVER because we chose to follow Him, but it's because He first chose us even before the world ever existed.

"Long ago, even before He made the world, GOD CHOSE US TO BE HIS VERY OWN THROUGH WHAT CHRIST WOULD DO FOR US; He decided then to make us holy in His eyes, without a single fault---we who stand before Him covered with His love. HIS UNCHANGING PLAN HAS ALWAYS BEEN TO ADOPT US INTO HIS OWN FAMILY BY SENDING JESUS CHRIST TO DIE FOR US. And He did this because He wanted to!" ~Ephesians 1:4-5

                "There is nothing more humbling than to know that God Himself CHOSE us, among everyone else to be His friends and His sons and daughters. Why are you the one that He saved? Why not that annoying person who holds up the line? Why not that nice person who helps the poor with more than you do? Why not your close friend who was always there for you? Why you? Why me? I don't know why. But there's only one thing that I know: If God's grace had never come through in my life, I would never be this happy, content and satisfied, I would never like my life in the first place. Never."

               I will never forget of the pit which God has risen me up from, the sea of desperation and needless yearnings He helped me disembark from, and the monster on my own frame He rescued me from, for out of this awareness comes the overflowing thanksgiving from my mouth! "For I can never forget these awful years; always my soul will live in utter shame. But there is one ray of HOPE: HIS COMPASSION NEVER ENDS. It is only the Lord's mercies that have kept us from complete destruction. GREAT IS HIS FAITHFULNESS; HIS LOVING KINDNESS BEGINS AFRESH EACH DAY. My soul claims the Lord as my inheritance; therefore I WILL HOPE IN HIM. The Lord is wonderfully good to those who wait for Him, to those who seek for Him. It is good both to hope and wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord." ~Lamentations 3:2o-25

               Wow! God, this is so crazy! Truly, blessed are those who chose to follow Jesus, who received His salvation by faith, who humbled themselves constantly to the Lord, who sought His face and His kingdom first, whose trust is in the Lord alone, who learned to acclaim Him and who persisted on walking in the light of His presence! The Bible says that, ""King David spoke of this describing the HAPPINESS of an undeserving sinner who is declared "NOT GUILTY" by God. 'BLESSED and to be ENVIED,' he said, 'are those whose sins are forgiven and put out of sight. Yes, what a JOY  there is for anyone whose sins are no longer counted against him by the Lord.'" ~Romans 4:6-7

               After everything that I had become before and all that I had done wrong, God looked past all of that. Knowing that "because of what Christ has done, we have become GIFTS TO GOD THAT HE DELIGHTS IN, as part of God's sovereign plan we were chosen from the beginning to be His," (Ephesians 1:11) And I can never be more than grateful. I can safely say that I'm one of the living testimonies of God's ultimate power to transforming lives and to making everything new! Yes, I'm still on the on-going process of being what God has called me to be, but fully grasping and being rooted with my salvation and blessed hope are enough to get me there. This is not a make-believe kind of thing. This is not a mere interesting idea that I just made up on my mind, something so wonderful that it feels surreal. 

No, this is the TRUTH! And this is my testimony.

Philippians 3:12:

                 "I don't mean to say I am PERFECT. I haven't learned all I should even yet, but I keep working toward that day when I will finally be all that Christ saved me for and wants me to be."                                                                                           

Too much for God?

People tend to believe that God doesn't expect too much from us. We live as though going the extra miles with Him is something inappropriately extravagant. We discounted our commitments to God because we thought, we're doing just fine. We blunt, "Surely, God would not be mad if you miss one Friday night out." And usually worse, we mistakably put our feet on God's shoes saying, "I don't think God is pleased when we do too much for Him. We can serve Him once or twice a week. Let's say Sundays. But to do it everyday, consuming all our time for church, is just too much!"

In Malachi 1, God is reminding us how to serve Him ideally. He harshly accuses us of not honoring Him and even despising His mighty  Name. And so we say, "Who? Us? When did we ever despise your name?" (v.6) I thought I was loving you just enough?

And God, who knows our deepest desires and the core of our being says, "Everytime you say, 'Don't bother bringing anything very valuable to offer to God!' 8 You tell the people, 'Lame animals are all right to offer on the altar of the Lord---yes, even the sick and the blind ones.'" (v.7-8)

Didn't we just serve Him all right and fair enough?

We've lost our revelation of Christ! Because if we really know His glory, His power, His omnipotence, we will not treat Him like a double-pay paycheck we get only every holidays! But no, we unconsciously viewed Him just as somebody special, together with the other special things and people we tagged in our lives. We degrade His value by prioritizing other aspects of our tiny world. We act as if we can downsize His nature by giving Him what we thought is enough for Him, leaving Him residues of our self-consumed, much pre-occupied life.o

What God desires from us are not our halfhearted commitment, lukewarm faith, not genuine surrender, discounted submission and self-centered devotion. He wants our everything: every beat of our hearts, every breath that we breathe, and every moment that we live!

So many times we rob from God what is due to Him. We rob Him of His tithes, His respect, and His sovereignty in our lives. Most of the time too, we serve leftovers to God! We give just a portion of our abundance, a spare time of our long weekdays and a scrap devotion after the things we put on top of Him; our job, education, relationships, ambitions, life goals to name some of it. But something is better than nothing, right?

We ought to know that this life is not ours! He is our Father and our Master! And as His loving servant, we can never take control, it must be Him! We, on the passenger seat or even at the backseat, can't direct the driver what to do. We ought to just let Him drive our lives and just rest.

The Story of Mary tells us much on how to really pleasingly worship our God.

"Then Mary took about a pint of pure nard, an expensive perfume; she poured it on Jesus' feet and wiped his feet with her hair. And the house was filled with the fragrance of the perfume."~John 12:3

I love how Mary lavished her love for Christ. She poured her love to Jesus even when it costed her the most valuable thing she inherited. She gave it all away to Christ simply because she knows that Jesus is more worth than a bottle of an expensive perfume. He deserves our best, our everything. She gave up what the world thought was necessary and valuable, in exchange for what really matters; her soul.

"But the fact that nothing should concern us more than our relationship with God; it's about ETERNITY, and nothing compares with that. God is not someone who can be tacked on to our lives." ~Francis Chan

But then there is always this Judas Iscariot in our lives who's gonna stop us from lavishing extravagantly for God, reminding us our desires to hold on to our riches, our finances, our acquisitions, our achievements and our valuables in this earthly life. (v.4-6)

I am really sick to my stomach whenever I hear people say to me, "Kim, you're doing too much and over what is necessary. Chill out and enjoy life." People who knows less, so to speak. They totally don't understand what they were talking about.

As much as it makes me sick, it also breaks my heart knowing that these people know nothing about truly being a follower of Christ. They settle with their okay devotions, not even concerning the thoughts of fully submitting to the Father. They assumed all their lives that they are Good Soils and that Heaven awaits for them because they live fairly, they give to the poor and they don't kill, cheat or hurt people. But God has been warning us that "not everybody who calls me 'Lord, Lord' will enter the kingdom of God. Only those who do My will." And yes, we can do and put on our Christian-y costumes but leave our hearts far away from God.

I agree much with Francis Chan when he wrote:

"God is holy. In heaven exists a Being who decides whether or not I take another breath. This holy God deserves excellence, the very best I have."

I don't even think I serve God enough with my too much. I do not even consider myself giving back even an enough percentage of love to Him. Even my whole lifetime can't be enough to reimburse Him what He'd given me.

But I won't try any harder. I don't need to be His Child, for I already am! I just simply want to rest on this truth and lay my head on His arms"The solution is not to push yourself into behaving perfectly; the solution is to cultivate your love for God.", said Francis.

God said, if we are to worship Him without our lives totally surrendered to Him, it's better to not worship at all. It's senseless for us to give every sacrifices if our motivation is not backed up with the overflowing love we have for Him and if we don't value Him more than anything else. Our worship must not be backed up by our guilt to giving nothing, instead because beyond the extremities of our ability, we can't simply give enough to repay Him of all the amazing things He has done in our lives.

To "love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind." is not just a phrase to be memorized, instead it is a quote to live by.

I would be much willing to be called as someone so obsessed with God, crazy about Jesus or crazy about my church, than to be called someone-in-love-with-the-world. That's not the kind of label I desire God to witness me in His last days.

For I know, the only well-spent time, money, and love are when they are spent in return to God's love. You know you never wasted what you lavished for Him.

Hide Your Love Away

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=81KlcCZvl94&feature=youtube_gdata_player

So many times I sat on the  backseat with sweet couples infront of me. Somehow, the culture tells me to frustrate about their holding hands and the looks in their eyes. Something echoes in my ear saying, "Why are you still single? Why are you still alone?"

It's been nearly two years since I've had my last relationship. Actually, calling it like one is a vague consideration for it was the shortest span of time I've got involved with a guy: 3 Days!
Out of the 7 guys I've been together with, I can tell that I never knew love by then. It's not that I just played or anything, I realized that those were just merely strong infatuations. Nothing more, nothing less.

Some of my friends, especially my family told me that I'm too picky about boys. But to me, it's more than the this and that; 

I knew that there is this THE BEST ONE and I WILL deserve him.

Then One came to the picture, someone that any God girls would ever look for.

I admit that He was One of the main reasons why I dumped all the guys who went on the way, not because they are dumb or anything, but because my heart was already taken over.

He have taught me a lot of things, and of course, emotions. He got me excited whenever I see Him, he got me lost in his eyes and I gave him my true love. But none of all that mattered, except to me. It took me long years to consider that it isn't the right time nor place, or even probably the right One yet.

The only right thing that happened to me in the covered time of falsely believing "This is it!" is when I met JESUS CHRIST! That had been the greatest acquaintance ever in anyone's life!

Then He also taught me to become a better person. He got me to wait on Him until I see Him, He saved me with the love in His eyes, and He gave me truest love.

All more likely the contrary of what I thought real love is. And I can totally agree that "This is really not yet it!". There is more to life ... than boys!

Then, my life became extremely different! From bitter to a better heart, from a lover to a beloved. All of these was shown by the Living God Himself, whose love is incomparable! Much of the stuffs He did in my life are gonna be tackled in my next blog called, "How He 'Overtook My Heart'" which I'll be working on next. This blog is inspired by my self-composed worship song. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fmThP1OIMXU&feature=youtube_gdata_player)

So I just wanna encourage my young lovely women here; single, taken, heartbroken, non-moving-on and waiting. Yes, you are YOUNG, not only by age but there are still more time left for you so don't rush in. And yes, you are LOVELY because you are wonderfully made and loved by the King!
Trust me I know that being a girl sometimes is a burden when you like someone but you can't do anything-you can't do the pursuing! It's so hard to wait! 

But trust me too when I say, YOU ARE WORTH-PURSUING, WORTH-LOVING and  WORTH-WAITING FOR as well!

For the meantime, while waiting for our prince charming to man up, let's focus on to what's important in life: our relationship with Christ. Let us understand that there's nothing in our lifetime that would matter than that. "And what do you benefit if you gain the whole world but lose your own soul? Is anything worth more than your soul?" ~Matthew 16:26

We may be the most beautiful girl in our circle, but that's not important: "Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised." ~Proverbs 31:30 

We may be the wittiest one, but that's not important too: "My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts," says the LORD. "And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine." ~Isaiah 55:8

We may be rich, famous and the heir of all the world has to offer but that's not true success: "Blessed is the one who does not walk in step with the wicked or stand in the way that sinners take or sit in the company of mockers, but whose delight is in the law of the LORD, and who meditates on his law day and night. That person is like a tree planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither—whatever they do prospers." ~Psalm 1:1-3

We may have the The Best Boyfriend/Husband, but that's not the Truest Love: "Greater love has no one than this, that One (Jesus Christ) lay down His life for his friends." ~John 15:13

Don't trip about having a boyfriend yet because first: we really don't need one! ( I don't know with you, though) Second: we can trust that whoever God wills for us, he would be perfectly perfect for us. And third: we are not alone, the Creator of Love itself is always with us!

Let us focus then in responding in love to Him. That's all He asks for us, to love Him with all our hearts, mind, strength and soul. That may sound so demanding but there's no human endeavor which can surpass the worth of that! The reward is a complete satisfaction, not only here on earth but to afterlife.

So while waiting for this picture-perfect season of our lives, can we be the Right Women for our anticipated Right Men first? Let us let ourselves become more Christlike so we can be the Bride that anybody deserve. Let us hide our love away and save it for the Best! Let us preserve ourselves in purity, hope, righteousness and expectancy of His great Will. For if we do and wait on Him, God will place the perfect persons in our lives. We may have met the right One, yes or no, but let us know that God is perfect in His timing. And let us let Him hold the pen of our life so He can write the best love story we can far off imagine.